Teen Dating Abuse
Dating abuse is a pattern of destructive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner.
One in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships.
Teen victims of physical dating violence are more likely than their non-abused peers to smoke, use drugs, engage in unhealthy diet behaviors (taking diet pills or laxatives and vomiting to lose weight), engage in risky sexual behaviors, and attempt or consider suicide.
The Line
Where is the line between love and control? Coralee Trigger, a student filmmaker, made this video PSA as the culmination of her Girl Scout Gold Award.
Warning Signs of Abuse
Because relationships exist on a spectrum, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive. Use these warning signs of abuse to see if your relationship is going in the wrong direction:
Checking your cell phone or email without permission
Constantly putting you down
Extreme jealousy or insecurity
Explosive temper
Isolating you from family or friends
Making false accusations
Mood swings
Physically hurting you in any way
Possessiveness
Telling you what to do
Repeatedly pressuring you to have sex
Dating Basics
Relationships exist on a spectrum, from healthy to unhealthy to abusive — and everywhere in between. It can be hard to determine where your relationship falls, especially if you haven’t dated a lot. Explore this section to learn the basics of dating, healthy relationships and drawing the line before abuse starts.
Is My Relationship Healthy?
Read more…
Texting and Sexting
Next to talking one-on-one, texting is currently one of the most instant forms of communication. While texting might be the perfect platform to say a quick “hi,” there are some things to watch out for in a textual relationship with your partner.
One in five teen girls and one in ten younger teen girls (age 13 to 16) have electronically sent or posted nude or semi-nude photos or videos of themselves. Even more teen girls, 37 percent, have sent or posted sexually suggestive text, email or IM (instant messages). (The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com.Sex and Tech: Results from a Survey of Teens and Young Adults, 2008.)
Texting Too Much
If your partner texts too much, it’s not only irritating, but unnecessary. Read more…
Should We Break Up?
If you’re in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, figuring out the next step can be very difficult. read more…
Dating abuse is more than just arguing or fighting.
Teen dating violence is just as serious as adult domestic violence. Abusive relationships have good times and bad times. Part of what makes dating violence so confusing and painful is that there is love mixed with the abuse. This can make it hard to tell if you are really being abused. The Healthy Relationship Wheel/Equality Wheel will help you understand relationships better.
Unfortunately, without help, the violence will only get worse. If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, please call the National Dating Abuse Helpline– 866-331-9474 to talk with someone about it. You can also call the Helpline for more information about dating violence or other resources for teens.
Help Your Child
Knowing that your son or daughter is in an unhealthy relationship can be both frustrating and frightening. But as a parent, you’re critical in helping your child develop healthy relationships and can provide life-saving support if they’re in an abusive relationship. Remember, dating violence occurs in both same-sex and opposite-sex couples and either gender can be abusive.
Tell your child you’re concerned for their safety. Point out that what’s happening isn’t “normal.” Everyone deserves a safe and healthy relationship. Offer to connect your son or daughter with a professional, like a counselor or attorney, who they can talk to confidentially. read more…
Research shows that 98 percent of teenage girls who have been abused continue to date the abuser. Your teen could be one of them.
If you suspect your daughter/son is in an abusive relationship, go through the following checklist of warning signs:
Does your son or daughter apologize for their partner’s behavior and make excuses for them?
Is she/he losing interest in activities that they used to enjoy?
Has she/he stopped seeing friends and family members and become more isolated?
When your child and partner are together, does he/she call her/him names and put he/himr down in front of other people? Does she/he seem intimidated by him?
Does your child’s partner act extremely jealous of others who pay attention to her/him, especially other guys/girls?
Does your child’s partner think or tell your daughter/son that you don’t like them?
Does your child’s partner control her/his behavior, check up on them constantly, and call and text them, demanding to know who she/he has been with? Does your child’s partner control where she/he goes, what she/he wears and who she/he sees?
Does she/he casually mention their partner’s violent behavior, but laugh it off as a joke?
Does your child often have unexplained injuries or offer explanations that don’t make sense?
Have you seen your child’s partner violently lose his/her temper, striking or breaking objects or destroyed his/her property?
Does your child’s partner criticize her /his parenting and threaten to take away or hurt her/his children?
Has your child’ partner threatened her life?
Does your child’s partner email or text excessively?
Do you notice that your son or daughter is depressed or anxious?
Does your child’s partner abuse other people or animals?
Does your child dress differently?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions, your daughter/son may be in an abusive relationship.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Resources:
http://www.breakthecycle.org
http://www.loveisnotabuse.com
http://www.loveisrespect.org
14 Tween and Teen Dating Violence and Abuse Study, Teenage Research Unlimited for Liz Claiborne Inc. and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. February 2008. Available at >http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/pdf/Tween%20Dating%20Abuse%20Full%20Report.pdf. 15 Silverman, J, Raj A, et al. 2001. Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality. JAMA. 286:572-579. Available at http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/reprint/286/5/572.